Halloween Is For The Children ... And Paedophiles

Gee, will you look at the time? It's almost a quarter to Halloween. WTF is Halloween? If you said a pagan ritual to celebrate All Hallow's Eve then I'd say "Bunkum!"

Whatever Halloween once was, it is now just part of the Capitalist Consumerist Conspiracy. Parents/kids don't even make their own costumes anymore, they buy them. And when I say 'anymore' please remember that Halloween wasn't even a popular event in NZ until the 1990's. It's an American tradition that's been foisted on us by some American conglomerate. Don't believe me? Let me tell you a personal story about my involvement in inflicting Halloween on the NZ retail mass-market. (After this gratuitous picture of what passes for a Halloween costume these days)


In 1991 I left student radio and joined 'commercial radio'. Unlike many others who successfully made that transition, I didn't and six months later I found myself looking for a new job. I joined Network Distributors, then the second largest magazine distributor in NZ (#1 was Gordon & Gotch). I was the 'International Account Manager' - a grand title that meant I looked after all the non-NZ titles we distributed. One day we had a big meeting with a big American company who pitched the idea of us distributing his large range of Halloween Products.

He had prepacked Halloween Costumes, masks, wigs, banners, decorations, party plates, etc etc etc - all the stuff you see in stores now. And he was looking for NZ distribution (retailing is all about distribution - it's no good marketing a product line if it's not sitting in a rack in all the stores). We discussed the proposal at length, with me saying that Halloween was not part of the NZ culture and that I doubted kiwi's would embrace it.

But there was a dollar to be made so we took on the line and released it to moderate success. By the following Halloween I had left the company but noticed that The Warehouse now stocked a massive line of Halloween products. I guess the Big American Company went to them as well and sold them on the concept.

So now Halloween is a part of kiwi culture. Which is great news for paedophiles. What other time of the year do they get young kids coming to their door, demanding lollies? For 364 days of the year we warn kids about 'Stranger Danger' but on Halloween we encourage them to dress up, go out, and ... solicit?

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