Party Cancelled Because Of Me?

I don't know if you've twigged, but Facebook (like the internet in general) is choc' full of 'professional' people using 'social networking' to sell their wares. Many of whom try to market their sexual goods, but in a manner not to annoy Facebook. Some aren't very good at it (the "Lube My Tits" group only lasted a few hours before being removed) whilst others are still on, and have amassed 14,829 friends.

I should know because "I" am one of them. Not me of course but an alter ego I created to see how many friends I could get even tho' I don't know them. My alter ego has 555 friends, none of whom he actually knows, but waaaaay more than me.

Anyway. being on Facebook with lots of friends means you are constantly invited to everything. My alter ego was invited to "Presenting Footsie Foot Parties" so naturally I accepted. Unfortunately the organisers took their event seriously. Very seriously.

First I got this email:

Facebook to: me

Bailey sent a message to the members of Presenting Footsie Foot Parties.

Subject: Footsie


You have stated you are attending our "Foot Party" however neither myself or Cindy Ray have had any kind of contact with you.

In order for you to get a ticket you must contact us as we would need to discuss things and make arangements with you.

If we do not hear from you by 12noon tomorrow we will presume you will not be attending and you will be taken off the attendee list on the group. If you are serious and do wish to attend then I recommend that you email Cindy Ray ASAP to qualify for your ticket!!!!

Please act quickly as there are limited tickets avalible to this exclusive gathering.


then I got this email:

Facebook to: me

Cindy canceled the event "Presenting Footsie Foot Parties".

The Facebook Team

Oh dear! Imagine if I threw a Cheap Sex Re-Union Party and no-one showed up?



Kylie Minogue performs at Auckland's Vector Arena tonight and tomorrow. To celebrate (if you're a fan) here are some Kylie clips. I wouldn't class myself as a fan, but I do acknowledge some of her dance floor hits are very good ("Locomotion" not so)

I met Kylie once when I lived in Quay West. I opened my door and there she was, just like in one of those 'celebrity fantasy' letters you see in Penthouse Forum. (BTW - does anyone actually read porn anymore? It seems like such a dated concept: holding a magzine. I'm sure if you discussed it with young boys today [but who would, because that would open up a can of worms in itself] they'd say "Magazine's? WTF?")

Anyway, it was Kylie but she wasn't wearing her gold hotpants and she hadn't come to f@#k my brains out. It turns out she was in the apartment next door doing press interviews for her new album. (Quay West is an 'Apartment Hotel', with half the apartments used by owners as residences and the other half leased to the Hotel).

I was about to say "Hi" and tell her about how I'd also met her sister Dannii back in 1991 when I worked (briefly) at 91FM, but thought the better of it. So I just said "Hi". She said "Hi" back and then told me I was quite tall (I wasn't, but Kylie is quite short so I guess everyone is tall to her) and that she liked tall men and pushed me back into my apartment - undoing my belt at the same time ...

At least that's what I think happened ...

Blue Monday:

Kylie vs Madonna:

This one is soooo Gay Disco:

The Santa Parade

Everyone in Auckland knows the Santa Parade, we've been going since were little kids. Back in 1985, when I was a part of Smooth Inc (the graffiti off-shoot of breakdancers The Megazoids) we were asked by Farmers* to come in and add a bit of 'youth' to some of the tired parade floats. Obviously we couldn't paint anything in Wild Style, but we were happy to do our bit. Hip Hop is about being 'recognised' (or should that be 'rekonized'?) and graffiti is all about getting your pieces seen by as many people as possible. So painting some parade floats that were going to run down the city's main street in front of 100,000 people was pretty big.

I snapped these pics that year, and you can find more on the Facebook group Old School NZ Hip Hop:

Yesterday I went back to Queen Street to watch the 2008 Santa Parade. Auckland City certainly has come a long way since I was a kid. At least half the crowd seemed to be from the 'immigrant community' ie 'not white'. Being the child of Italian immigrants myself I know what it's like to grow up feeling slightly disassociated from the traditional/dominant 'Anglo' kiwi culture, but at least I wasn't 'not white' so I had no real problem assimilating. Most of our non-white immigrants don't have it so easy and I was surprised to see so much aggro at yesterday's parade.

Maybe 'aggro' is too strong -- but there were a lot of niggles. Usually when a non-white person tried to push their way through the throng and upset Whitey who'd been there since 11am in order to get the best spot to watch the 2pm parade. What Whitey doesn't understand is that these immigrants have probably come from cities with a zillion people and for them there's loads of room, and if I see a gap I'm just going to move over there and fill it. And if you really want to know what poor crowd control is (ie a survival-of-the-fittest free-for-all) you should be in Paris on Bastille Day. But I'll save that story for later.

And it happened to me too. I had a great spot and got lots of good pictures (for my daughter, she insisted) until about half way through, when some woman planted herself in front of me. She didn't plant herself straight away of course - first she went through the charade of miming her need to get through and go 'over there' to those kids in the front row she was pointing at. Right next to my daughter seemingly. But as soon as she got in front of me she stopped, and then proceeded to take really good photos of the floats. The same really good photos I'd been taking from that position up until then!

Rather than remonstrate with her (pointless) I snapped her picture and resolved to blog my stress away. Which I've done now.

But to finish on a positive note here are some pics of the Santa Parade: