Halloween Is For The Children ... And Paedophiles

Gee, will you look at the time? It's almost a quarter to Halloween. WTF is Halloween? If you said a pagan ritual to celebrate All Hallow's Eve then I'd say "Bunkum!"

Whatever Halloween once was, it is now just part of the Capitalist Consumerist Conspiracy. Parents/kids don't even make their own costumes anymore, they buy them. And when I say 'anymore' please remember that Halloween wasn't even a popular event in NZ until the 1990's. It's an American tradition that's been foisted on us by some American conglomerate. Don't believe me? Let me tell you a personal story about my involvement in inflicting Halloween on the NZ retail mass-market. (After this gratuitous picture of what passes for a Halloween costume these days)



In 1991 I left student radio and joined 'commercial radio'. Unlike many others who successfully made that transition, I didn't and six months later I found myself looking for a new job. I joined Network Distributors, then the second largest magazine distributor in NZ (#1 was Gordon & Gotch). I was the 'International Account Manager' - a grand title that meant I looked after all the non-NZ titles we distributed. One day we had a big meeting with a big American company who pitched the idea of us distributing his large range of Halloween Products.

He had prepacked Halloween Costumes, masks, wigs, banners, decorations, party plates, etc etc etc - all the stuff you see in stores now. And he was looking for NZ distribution (retailing is all about distribution - it's no good marketing a product line if it's not sitting in a rack in all the stores). We discussed the proposal at length, with me saying that Halloween was not part of the NZ culture and that I doubted kiwi's would embrace it.

But there was a dollar to be made so we took on the line and released it to moderate success. By the following Halloween I had left the company but noticed that The Warehouse now stocked a massive line of Halloween products. I guess the Big American Company went to them as well and sold them on the concept.

So now Halloween is a part of kiwi culture. Which is great news for paedophiles. What other time of the year do they get young kids coming to their door, demanding lollies? For 364 days of the year we warn kids about 'Stranger Danger' but on Halloween we encourage them to dress up, go out, and ... solicit?

Mash Ups

Bah! I managed to download some photos via Photobucket, but now I can't (again). Damntechnology! Since all I can do (until my brain grows) is post YouTube clips, here's a couple of mash-ups I thought were fun. As per all mash-ups they're always only 95% spot on, but WTF :

50 Cent vs. Bee Gees "Stayin Alive In Da Club"

proof that you can mash almost anything:

Michael Jackson vs Metallica

and of course, this classic:

Nirvana v Destiny's Child

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7958669iFu0

and finally, this guy couldn't mash Metallica and The Beatles so made his own parody video:

Did you know I used to be on TV too?

I thought I should point out that when I made the statement "did you know I used to be on TV too?" in an earlier post, I wasn't being serious. Lest you think I'm vain, which I'm not, but which is what people on TV generally are.

Yes, I was on TV but only briefly and only in a supporting role on a blink-and-you'll miss-it TV show waaaay back in 1989. That's like, last century, and so doesn't count. And even if it did count my on-screen performances were so bad that the good folks at TVNZ were kind enough to make a little compilation clip -- which was passed around behind my back and shown at parties. Not that I knew, I only found out about it years later.

I enjoyed the experience, but clearly my talents were better suited to writing than performing. I'll write a proper blog about that experience later, but I just wanted you know that I'm not as vain as some people presume I am (and there's another story there too, which I'll also discuss at a later date) just because I attempt to be self-deprecating and say things like "Did you know I used to be on TV too?".

I wuz joking!

Sunday Service

Got Milk? Get Religion!

Madonna Splits from Guy Ritchie

Was anyone surprised? I mean, really? When you get inducted into the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame and your partner stays home because they're "too busy" ... hey, I think that's a clue that things are not working out.

Who's to blame? I don't know (although like 95% of you I presume it's... MADONNA) but I'm guessing even if it's 'amicable' it's still not a happy day in either household. I was going to say they are probably feeling blue but I've just reminded myself (mentally) that since I'm not on the radio anymore I don't have to make lame segue's. So instead I'll just say: Roll the clip! (did you know I used to be on TV too?)



BTW - it's a damned good mash up. Some are pretty lame.

Pin Ups & Body Paint Models

You might have noticed those Pin Ups and Body Paint Models boxes on the right of this blog aren't actually showing any Pin Ups or Body Paint Models. They used to, but now they're just showing ads. They were quite cool so I'll leave the boxes there for a while longer to see if the problem corrects itself. (Scroll down for the Dating Tips box, and waaay down to the bottom for Sex Positions)