A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Internet

‎"When you cut facilities, slash jobs, abuse power, discriminate, drive people into deeper poverty and shoot people dead whilst refusing to provide answers or justice, the people will rise up and express their anger and frustration if you refuse to hear their cries. A riot is the language of the unheard."

~ Martin Luther King, Jr ~

Someone posted the above on their Facebook page, a 'copy n paste' not uncommon in social media. We see something we like (a cute kitten video, a political blog, or a sentiment we want to share) and so we click 'share' or repost it. But in this case the quote is not true - well, not all of it. Yes, MLK did say "A riot is the language of the unheard" but he did not say the words attrubted that proceed it. Someone has written something themselves, tacked a bit of MLK on the end, and then sent it out into the world wide web hoping (presumably) that some people will be be attracted by MLK's name to a message he didn't actually give.

What he actually said was:

"But at the same time, it is as necessary for me to be as vigorous in condemning the conditions which cause persons to feel that they must engage in riotous activities as it is for me to condemn riots. I think America must see that riots do not develop out of thin air. Certain conditions continue to exist in our society which must be condemned as vigorously as we condemn riots. But in the final analysis, a riot is the language of the unheard."

[source: http://edgeofthewest.wordpress.com/2008/01/21/remembering-martin-luther-king/] 

This (the original misquote) is not the first quote I've seen on Facebook that looked hinkey to me. There are plenty of 'quotes' that kinda sound like the person they're attributed to, but aren't actually. And even before 'social media' there were people writing lengthy missives about how quatrain x-y-z by Nostrodamus correctly predicted the collapse of the Twin Towers, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and the rise of Hitler - all of which is then used as proof that his next quatrain is 'warning' us that the One World Government is upon us.

Anyway, I called out the erroneous poster on the fake MLK quote and got this in reply:

• Nick D'Angelo: where's your source for this 'quote'? it seems to have been rewritten, because here's the actual quote:
  "But at the same time, it is as necessary for me to be as vigorous in condemning the conditions which cause persons to feel that the... (full quote, as above)
•  [THEM]: Regardless of who read, copied, quoted it.....the words and message are spot on.
•  Nick D'Angelo: But the only part of your quote that MLK actually said was "a riot is the language of the unheard". The rest is made up. If someone wants to make sh!t up they should put their own name to it...
• [THEM]: Listen Nick you little wanker.....I copy and pasted this from someone elses status because I agree with the message. If you want to obsess about who wrote the fuckin thing....do it somewhere else or say something constructive. I am in no mood to debate with the likes of you your petty bullshit....I have no idea who wrote it....I just agree with it.

• [someone else] u tell em heehee if he so obsessed by it he should write a book
•  Nick D'Angelo: I'm stunned you think it's okay to attribute something to someone that didn't actually say what you say they said.
•  [THEM]: maybe a little strong...but this is a passion provoking subject and if you don't have passion then what do you become? My mother used to say quote: " We're not here to fuck spiders!"  · Like ·   1 person
•  [someone else] go mum
•  [THEM]: Nick.....copy and paste it into google and scour through the 318 hits of the same quote.

Hmmmm, that just means 318 other people have fallen for this BS quote, surely? And I think I am not alone in thinking this, so I must be right.

"Thou shalt not tell falsehoods in the public square"

~ Jesus Christ ~

Okay, I made that up. But this one is true - look it up on Google if you don't believe me.

"I have a dream! That one day man will not be judged by the color of his skin, but by the cut of his jib"

~ Nelson Mandela ~

A moment of weirdness at the Crazy Horse in San Francisco.

I went to what I think (from memory) was the Crazy Horse strip club in the mid 90s. My girlfriend was in a conference in San Francisco and I'd tagged along. I'd spend my days wandering around the central city, each day taking off in a new direction on foot. On Day 3 I found myself in what was obviously the 'bad' part of town. I didn't plan on ending up there: I'd just kept walking and noticed the landscape was getting progressively seedier. It was very much like the Simpsons episode where Lisa walked across town and literally 'crossed the tracks' to Springfield's hitherto unknown Skid Row.

Being no stranger to 'shady figures' at home I realised I was in 'the wrong neighbourhood' and resolved to just keep walking. If I stopped and dithered I'd most likely be asking for trouble. (It was the mid 90s and I had this stupid habit of bringing my leather briefcase everywhere, a hangover from my 80s wannabe hustler days. Right now I was looking like some idiot drug dealer and was waiting for the obvious enquiry: "what's in the briefcase homes?")

So I turned a corner and walked back to a main road to head back to the CBD.  And there, looming large were various XXX Sex Shops and Peep Shows. And a large old style movie theatre, converted into a Strip Club. The posters advertised $15 entry and a matinee performance by some Penthouse Pet. Having just started my Cheap Sex parties at home, I figured this would be ideal 'research' so I paid my money and walked in. The theatre was delightfully decadent: gaudy gold paint, threadbare carpet, and everything ever-so-slightly rundown. Or very-clearly rundown.

The Penthouse Pet was already on stage, putting on a very vigourous show with sex toys, which was not something I saw at the strip clubs at home.  She was the same beautiful woman I'd seen on the glossy and arty posters outside, but here she was on stage looking a lot more filthy. She was ramming a dildo right up herself and making direct eye contact with each of the six men seated at various parts of the theatre. Including me. I must have looked embarrassed, because she turned away very quickly. I wasn't embarrassed for myself, I was embarrassed for her. She was giving quite a performance for just six guys - but I guess its show business and as any band will tell you: you gotta give the audience what they came for. She was professional, to say the least.

But the whole time I was sitting there, women would keep coming up and solicit me for a lap dance. It got annoying (I really was watching the show... from a technical standpoint... I used to be a strip club DJ, remember?)  but like the souvenir sellers that follow you around the streets in Bali, I finally realised it was only going to end if I just picked one and was done with it. So I did. I literally picked the very next girl who asked, which in hindsight was a stupid thing to do. She took me out back to a private booth backstage and I still have no idea what it cost me. I had to give her money, the house money, and the bouncer money (?) It really was like Bali! Maybe because American money is all green and hard to read in the dark.

It was a surreal experience. I left feeling fleeced, but amused. She'd stripped off in the booth (her big boobs drooping like flat pancakes once she removed her top - WTF?) simulated masturbation ("enjoy the show honey, just don't touch me!") and then made me do the same ("I'm putting on a show for you, now you do one for me, whip it out big boy") but not simulated (my show). It was PDF. Pretty.damn.freaky.

Pole Position: The Subjective Guide to San Francisco Strip Clubs